Spiders (2000)

I watched this earlier today and whilst I wouldn’t go so far as to suggest anyone actually purchase the DVD, even for a quid, it’s probably worth a lazy viewing with friends or leaving on if you ever find it whilst channel-hopping. Quite surprised I enjoyed it, since I was expecting an early ’80s horror on-the-cheap.

The plot has several Californian students who appear to report on “weird news” for their university paper. They very rapidly find themselves investigating a hilariously insecure and understaffed secret military base where experiments involving injecting alien DNA into spiders in space are concocted by Majestic-12. It dutifully ticks ’90s conspiracy boxes, without really committing to any. For the most part it plays out very televisually, like Charmed attempting The X-Files. The practical effects are pretty good, brought to you by the FX team behind “From Dusk Till Dawn, Spawn and Wishmaster” and the CGI is tolerable.

The students end up having a few mostly 12-rated Aliens and Predator-style encounters with ever-larger spider monsters (I think the 15 rating is primarily for language, it’s not a swearathon, but there are some clustered f-bombs). The clothes and tech are very ’90s too, which provides further amusement during the languors.

Cast includes a few jobbing actors with faces that are very slightly familiar. Main character is played by Lana Parrilla (Once Upon A Time). Acting is plausible for cookie-cutter characters, the whole thing being often cheesy yet never cringey.

Verdict: 6/10 – Better than it ought to be, raised a few laughs (intentional and otherwise). Shame it wasn’t a bit rougher-round-the-edges with some more character.


3 Comments Add yours

  1. Da22 says:

    Nice review mate however that’s going on the miss list as A, I hate arachnids and B, I hate spiders.. 😂


  2. stevenger says:

    Ha, not keen myself, but it was dirt cheap and the cover tickled me. Forgot to mention that despite being called “Spiders” there’s only really one prop-on-a-string at a time. Not that I’m trying to persuade you, don’t worry!


  3. retrolechuck says:

    Brilliant, I think a movie night might have to be started up again this year and spiders is the featured show!
    P. S
    Why are military bases in films so undermaned. Lol

    Liked by 1 person

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