I Play You So Much Right Now #1

Apologies in advance that most of these games are merely old and not actually retro. Good heavens above!



Mass Effect [1]

That’s not my Shepherd, btw. My Shepherd looks like a cross between Babylon 5‘s Susan Ivanova and Joan “The Freak” Ferguson from Prisoner: Cell Block H. She takes no shit from no-one. The game itself is like Dragon Age: Mmm, Oranges crossed with the gloriously-excessive, unnecessary world-building of the original PS1 Colony Wars. It is wonderful.



Alice: Madness Returns

Of all the things both You, dear reader, and I are utterly sick of/underwhelmed by “Gee whiz! Dark Alice In Wonderland!” is pretty high on the list. However! In many areas American McGee‘s sequel seems to have reined it in (or been left behind) relative to pop culture in general, and there does seem to be a lot of (gasp!) innovation and (double-gasp!) relative restraint in this particular goth-it-up branch of gaming. Favourite mechanic: LB to shrink + see hints scrawled childishly onto the scenery in UV pen. It’s like the efficacy/joy of hitting R3 in Dead Space yet somehow more engaging/rewarding.



Galaga Legions DX

Completely not Galaga. At all. It is a decent, distinctive arcadey, high-score chasing, protect-your-pixel, single-screen space shooter though, complete with post-Geometry Wars neon effects but surprisingly forgiving gameplay-wise in comparison. There’s a neat option to pick the graphics/tileset used. The default is a hideous, spiky, mid-90s render-fail that resembles, I dunno, a Rob Liefeld* CGI Witchblade? Do what I do and choose the Galaxian tileset, because hellyeah Galaxian!



LEGO Lord Of The Rings

Complete with voicework ripped straight from the Peter Jackson films and forgiving gameplay for the young player (ahem!) this is great immersive fun. Favourite moment so far is when Frodo accidentally drops the One Ring in his tea whilst Gandalf holds forth, thus inadvertantly revealing the Morgul-script upon it. I never quite got on with the original LEGO Batman but if you have the least affection for LEGO, LotR or the PJ films you really should grab this NOW whilst it’s dirt cheap on Xbox 360 (£3.74!)



Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge HD

Another (even cheaper!) bargain on Xbox Live, less than two quid! I’m still stuck on Scabb Island, resolutely avoiding pressing X, AKA the “punch-me-in-the-face” button, AKA hint, AKA fail achievement. Proof positive (as though proof were needed) that achievements and achievement-chasing promote delinquent, sub-optimal strategies and can taint if not ruin a game. Based on the quality of what I’ve seen so far I bet the hints are hilarious. D’oh!


And Finally…

Am I wrong? Probably! Have I missed something? No doubt! Do you have a different opinion or an interesting fact worth sharing? One hopes! If so, comment below!


* I have read quite a lot of comics nonsense/opinion on the internets in my time, yet I have never once read anyone with a bad word to say about Rob Liefeld The Man, who is apparently as straight-up a decent bloke as you could ever hope to meet, short of Dave Grohl. I will defend him to the death on general principle.



3 Comments Add yours

  1. Da22 says:

    Despite its praise I couldn’t get in with mass effect, I heard number 2 was a better overall experience however I don’t have the time or patience to miss out on the first games story. Catch up quick you tube vids just won’t do it justice.

    Lego star wars was a blast so I can image LotR would be, might have to dable ..

    Check my monkey island achievements, 2 of my favourite games right there. I think you can toggle the visual style with the select button if I remember. Awesome remakes! Largo embargo!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. stevenger says:

    I can’t start stories halfway through either. I’m perpetually amazed how Younger Me used to start watching stuff from the second series onwards, or read trilogies in reverse order 3-2-1.

    Lego LotR seems to have a lot of side quests etc that you can revisit in free-roaming later. Apparently it IS possible to start at The Shire and simply walk into Mordor. Forgot to mention it’s got the film music too, great stuff!

    Checking your Monkey Status was totally on my to-do list. Stuck again, so think I might have to go GameFAQs to get further. Where’s an old copy of Amiga Power when you need it, eh?


  3. retrolechuck says:

    basically Galaga Legions DX NEEDS to be in my collection and i wouldn’t mind picking up Alice either….thanks Stevenger some nice treats there…..Oh and Mass Effect rocks the universe with all its greatness!


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